Tak sangka dalam mase sekelip mata bulan puasa dh dtg melawat kembali.Again I meet my favourite month of the year and to Ramadhan I say 'Ahlan Wasahlan'.I love Ramadhan for many different reason.

I love it because it has the potential of being a month that provides me food.LOts and lots of food.

I love it because it brings back the best memory I have.My best childhood moments were in Ramadhan.Terawikh ngan Kak ama.Bukak pose kat masjid ngan mummy and nad.

Now that I'm all grown up(hahahhahaha) I love Ramadhan for two very different reason.

I love Ramadhan because I now know what ukhwah means.What it means when you have sisterly bond thats not because of blood.Me n Nad,we never can get along quite well.Maybe its the age difference,maybe its just me being bekeng and she being really rebellious about the way i treat her mase kecik.BUt here in Auckland,MashaAllah the love I feel,I cannot even start to describe.

I also love Ramadhan now because its a platform.Its a way to get me near to Allah.I mean,yes,start puking now.Farah dah seriously lost it.I can just imagine people saying this sentence when I tell them.Rolling their eyes.Gone.Gone.She;s gone all hypocritical on us.

Well,so what.I've been fighting this whole hypocrite feeling I have in my head every single day .I I'm a hypocrite.Bile I dengan de 'akak's I feel that I wanna do good but when I ngan my other frens,I laugh,I jump I swear like a plumber and I feel goood.Well,this is where Ramadhan comes and play a role.This is the month where I know Allah's given me the 22nd chance at Iman.A chance at 'Taqwa'.

Yesterday,dengar Kak nana bg tazkirah.die kate siape yg buat2 baik depan kawan2 yg buat bek and buat jahat bile they turn their back is munafik.I recoiled at that word.Ya Allah.Aku golongan tu ke?I'm the enemey in de selimut?Here let me tell u I was shaking.Shaking at the thought that maybe smue ibadah yg I buat,smue x diterime.HOw am I supposed to know that I didnt do it because I was being riak.Baca Quran,mathurat tu semua?Wud i Really be doing it kalau i duduk sorang on an Island tanpe orang.How honest are my payers and my recitations?How honest am I with Allah?


I love Ramadhan because of one other reason.


It reminds me that Allah sees everything.Everthing.He knows the deepest deepest darkest secret you have.Everything you are.So a very big reminder to self.Fight that feeling yg u nk buat bek bile u dgn orang bek jer.REmind urself that U xkan dihisab dlm groups when u dekat Padang Mahsyar.There's not gonna be a 5 orang beriman so one bad fren gets to go the heaven discount.So here I angkat tangan and berdoa that this 22nd chance I get in Ramadhan I use the best I can.
Pray for me will yOU?


Yours honestly,

Farah humbled Hani.


W